Life SuX!

Well, it is officially finals week. Yeah for that--note the sarcasm. I asked my manager at work to work me less this week so I cna get things done and she addes more days to my schedule! That is one thing I don't understand but hey whatever.

Dennis and Me....where do I begin and what do I leave off? Well, we are still together of sorts but things are still off. I want to believe him and trust him but right now I can't. He knows this I have told him. It is funny...he tries so hard to make things better for example the other day we had freezing rain and at 7am he came over to scrape the ice off my car so I could get to work on time. Then other times I just want to say *sigh* life is back to the way it was with him ignoring me and doing whatever he wants again. I always have felt 3rd in his life. I know that sounds aweful but it is true. I suppose you are wonder what is 1st and 2nd. Well, in no specific order 1 and 2 are his friends and sports. If a game is on and I want to do someting it is NO I have to watch the game. A good example of this would be Nov. 5, 2005. This is the date of our 5 year anniversary! My parents ended up loading the truck to move and he came over to help. It did take a little longer than expected. That night Dennis, me, and JOE went to a movie together. After the movie I went to Hollywood Video to rent a movie and Joe and I watched the movie. Dennis went home and watched the STUPIDE PATRIOTS GAME! Any yes I am glad they lost that game. But Dennis is right I come before sports ever do.

Finals Are Approaching

I am wide awake sitting in the computer lab trying to finish work. You can deffiently tell which people are upper classmen and who barely has finals. Me, I am working with things I hardly understand. Life really sucks right! Why try and hide it anymore. Dennis and I are so far up in the air I don't know what will happen between us. I want us to stay together but I feel like a giant void has appear and it may take more work than either of us wants to put in to fix it. We have worked through a lot in the past which I am thankful for. But now, we are both tired. We want to be married. We just want to work out and be done with as little work as possible. Where this will lead us, who knows. What a time for everything to hit the fan. Right before finals, just what I needed. He is trying so hard to fix things. I know he wants things to be better. I am scared to trust him and love him right now. I hate how I feel. If I actually thought anyone would read this I would not say this much. *sigh* why does life have to be so umm errrr grrr.....well you get the idea. I really should get back to work with my spss, data entry, and reading people's handwriting on my beautifully, pain-staking survey. Hope everyone out there is doing well.